Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You dont lie about slip and slides
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
