Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize