put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
