Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
