no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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