Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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