I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
