I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
