Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
