I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
