i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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