I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize