My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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