I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
