Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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