Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
