Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dick very happy bro
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
