I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
