Say something about gay babies.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
