yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
