ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
