I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
