Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
