I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
