Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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