I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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