shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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