She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize