I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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