Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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