OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
