Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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