I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
ok first of all what the fuck
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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