Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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