is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
