you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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