i think my tv is drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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