so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
