apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
