so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
