Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
