Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
