What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
