What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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