i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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