so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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