Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
