thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
