seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
