good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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