Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
