Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Someone signed my nipple.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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