There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
