So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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