I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
