I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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