i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
