Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
