I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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