ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
