my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
