I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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