I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
