You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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